and the Merry continues....day 1 Sea World

The night before we took the kids to eat at Denny's, the only place open on Christmas Day. Miss Kiersten's hand started really swelling and turning purple so Becky and Justin took her to the nearest ER to have her cast cut!!!!!poor thing was sooo brave!
So the next day we stayed close and decided to take the kids to Sea World!!!! Fabulous plan, we had a blast!!!

And a Merry Christmas it was..........

Santa came one day early this year so we could take a little family vacay with our Cluff cousins. It was a blast and just what we needed to end this year!!!We opened our gifts on Christmas Eve morning and then got packed and left for Phoenix! We were a little held up on the departure as we had to find out if Kiersten was going to need surgery for the broken arm she got that morning from riding her new rip stick!!! She was a friggin rock star and did so well!!! we got to Phoenix around 10pm and woke up and left for San Diego on Christmas day!!! It was a fun trip switching cousins back and forth during the ride!!!
I drove the whole way there!!! they call me the HOTT taxi driver!!!! HAHAHAHA
Me driving VERY safely while also being the photogragher!!! I am also awesome at multi tasking
Me and Becky during our pee stop in Yuma!!!!
The kids were so excited to get out of the car

LOVE LIFE AND SEE GOOD DAYS!!

Words of comfort and peace that are getting me' through!
It's all in how you look at it!!!

I'm a pain in my own.......bones

Just when I think the pain is getting better it gets worse! If im suppose to learn patience or humility from all of this, I get it, I do!!! Just let me get some relief for Heaven sakes!! K maybe I need to work on it a little more! 10 vials of blood drawn today so results to come!

Im in it to lose!!!!!

Licking my fingers is in the past (oct 2010) hahaha


Catchy isn't it!!!

This weight is coming off and with the help of my doTerra friends I know I can do this!!! I'm excited to get healthy and start feeling like myself again! Not that loosing 40 pounds will do all of that but it will help!!! So here it goes! wish me luck

kinda of excited about the fact I don't have to worry about another pregnancy to add back this weight I'm going to lose, but sad i won't be snugglin anymore babies!!! It's a chapter that has come to a close and it was well worth it!! I mean that......

Holy crazy month....batman

my honey was in sooo much pain!!!
my sweet baby girl!
Me and Bryn
my kids loved the pumpkins!!!
picking pumpkins at Apple Annie's Oct 2011
Me and K sue
we were so glad we got daddy for the afternoon
My poor baby!!! Needless to say i totally freaked!! i hated to see her in so much pain!
Papa makes everything better! we LOVE LOVE LOVE papa!! Thanks Dad for coming down to the hospital! That meant a lot! I love you
Publish PostShe had to be sedated! SO we waited and waited for the meds to kick in!!!!
So this last month has been filled with(what else)back problems, Passing kidney stones(Twice) poor Brian now knows what it feels like to be in labor!!! He wanted an epidural!! Stitches for Brynlee (2), Pumpkin patch (twice) Moms BIG Halloween party (very much a spooky success!!! Dont have pics of that but there coming!!!

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

WHAT MATTERS MOST...
HOW WELL YOU LIVED.
HOW WELL YOU LOVED.
HOW WELL YOU LET GO.

Depression and injections......

Say a little prayer for me'... 8 more injections!!! Can u say depression!! But that is looking up too! New meds r working and the fog is lifting!! Just a shout out to my amazingFamily for doing all they could to help me' out!!! I luv u all!!! We r truly blessed with the greatest family and friends!!!! This too shall pass and I am learning to find "Holy places in my Hard times"!!! Luv u all
Tif

washington day one....it was a doozy...but so cool

Kaely almost passed out at the security check point so we had her in the stroller with Bryn the whole time and the minute we hit the plane she was asleep on Cam, Cambry was such a trooper to let her sleep on her for 2 hours!!

Bryn was seriously the BEST baby ever!!! she was soooo good on the flight up!!!

Doyle was a trooper also. right after this pic I threw my phone at Brian and jumped up cause he started throwing up!!! Poor kid

Benedryl in the bottle with the juice will do it everytime. she slept the whole time.
and yes that was okay'd by my Dr.

Here we are after getting the rental car that was too small for all of us and our luggage but once we got rid of the luggage it fit us perfectly!!! The drive from Seattle to Wenatchee was amazing, we couldn't get over how full and lush the trees were. It was goregous!! Doyle had thrown up that morning at 4:30 while waiting in the parking lot for the shuttle! then again on the plane which distracted me and I think I left my camera bag, with the camera and 3 lens's and full of pics on it. I am sick about it!

So Brian is proud of this pic, he loved seeing the construction going on....it's how he roll's!

This is coming up Shawna and Ben's road to their house, at the top on the left is their house and the kids were out in the road waving hystarically as we pulled in!!! We were all so excited

I don't think they knew how to contain themselves and as soon as I got out of the car I jumped all over them......I miss them soooo much! we couldn't believe how cool it was there! 75 was the high the first day we were there!!! it was amazing!!!

HOLY MAZOLY!!!!!

the top pic shows the best color the yellow really is! I am in the process of painting the major rooms in my house this color!! I love it

my little office space

Holy organization!!! she is amazing

So we are back from Washington and we had a blast!! I will blog about that in a bit but first I have to show you what I came home to!
I freaked out!!!!!
Amanda my sweet sweet friend surprised me with an office makeover while I was in Washington and I LOVE IT!!!!!
I just find myself sitting in here, it is so amazing! The yellow in that last photo looks really bright but you get the jist of it!!!!!

Happy fourth of July (America and Benji)

Pics and Posts to come of fun decorations and a birthday bash with some of my favorite peeps!!!

Late night Sunday post!!!

safford circus April 2011

Bryn Mary Hilda June 2011

Kaely Primary activity day June 2011

Me and Tyler June 2011

Mary hilda mt graham June 2011 love this guy!!!

its crazy when midnight comes around and im still a kickin!!! Cause by 3pm I wondering how in the heck I am going to make it through dinner time ( which lately is around 7) and bath and bed times which are done all by myself cause my husband works like it's going out style!!! What, I'm not complaining, okay a little but I'm done now, except, did I mention I feel like a single mom with 4 kids and a guy that comes home and eats my dinners and watches me and my kids sometimes and laughs at some of the things they do but mostly reads his dog forum, OKAY now I'm done!!! If he's reading this, You are the best dadgum hardest worker I know, and I think you're pretty hot too :)
I was thinking today as Kaely and I were sitting on my bed eating Ice cream, Yeah I know its not on the Paleo thing, but man was it good! But i love my girls, they are my best friends, sure they can make me want to stick my tongue out at them sometimes, but mostly I love their company!!! I missed Cam while she was in Taylor with my sister Heather and their family, they kept her sooo friggin busy that now she is bored out of her mind and wants a pig, chickens, and a meat packing plant so she has something to do during the day.
We drove to Benson today and blessed my new nephew Tyler, what a little (big) cutie he is, he's delish!!!! It was fun hanging with fam!!!!
I can't wait for our trip this Friday, I am so excited that I want to just pack tomorrow and leave and wait at the airport till Friday at 6:45am when our flight leaves!!! What....
Tomorrow is going to be busy, busy, busy!!! Lots of laundry and packing!!! anyone want to come help......what

A locket in his pocket....

Tonight as I was doing a load of towels I got to a pair of pants of Doyles! Being six I NEVER know what I'm going to find!!! Kinda scary sometimes! Well this time his pants pocket was heavy and it had me giggling!! I think my husband thought I was enjoying doing the laundry a little too much ( wrongo). It got me thinking ( deep thinking) I just got after this sweet boy of mine for getting out of his bed for the onemillionth time! How many more times am I going to have to kiss his cute little lips everytime I put him back in bed( I get onemillion) kissed a night! And how many times am I going to find a " locket in his pocket".
I love finding little boy treasures! So I guess doing laundry EVERYSINGLE day isn't sooo bad!!!
Who am I kidding, but it really will b a sad day when their hampers r empty, cause that means so will their rooms and that means life has taken on a different route for me!
There will b a day I miss the fingerprints on the newly washed window, the mounds of laundry, the full sink of sippy cups and half eaten PB&J's, the kisses at night b 4 bed! The smell of newly bathed babies with that sweet sweet lotion on and yes even more



....the lockets in his pockets!!!

look what I'm making tomorrow........

If I can function that is!!! Having a searies of Steriod injections today in Tucson, Wish me luck and say some prayers!!! I'll need them
Luv ya much
Tif

This has got to be.......

The most inspiring week EVER!!! It's one of those weeks where the house stays a little bit more cluttered, laundry a little more piled up and dinner a little more on the " take out" side of things! AND It's ok! I've really been focusing on making my children feel more loved and far more appreciated! It's been my goal for this month, to step back and see the major potential my kids really have!! WOW IT'S BEEN AMAZING!! I have had to slow down a bit and not take soooo much for granted!!! I'm trying this in the husband category also!! This has been eye opening for me'!!! I have a new motto for motherhood and it's "example" and I'm trying really hard to stick by this! Treat my family how I'd like to b treated! Do unto them as i would want done unto me!!! My girls have been absolute rock stars since this last bout with my knee! And also my back!!! Yep 34 and already needing to be traded in for a newer model!! Haha
I don't think I was giving them enough credit where credit was due!! I feel like I'm kinda taking motherhood in strides, it's a wonderful feeling, but I also wish I had taken this on when I was a first time mom!!!
I'm now more grateful, sensitive, quiet, reassured, hopeful, thoughtful, and thankful! Even though there ate still days I'd like to scream into a pillow or run out my front door screaming for some help ( that's a funny mental picture right there) I for sure have my days, I'm seeing motherhood in a whole new light! And the future seem to be pretty bright!!!!

Can you wrap yourself around pain...Cambry did

Tonight is grateful sorrow in so many ways! Is there such a thing! I just dropped my 2nd oldest sweet girl off to my older sister in Globe!!! She is spending 4-5 days there! She loves it, the company, the chores, having Hebbie, Trevor, Cody and Wyatt all to herself! No sharing! I will miss her terribly! She asked right before we went our separate ways if she could call me' even at 1 am if she was scared! You bet I told her! She smiled, gave me' a hug and jumped happily in the truck!! Made my heart happy that she was so happy!!!

The pain in my back is excruciating! It's beyond one Valium, I'm one to one and a half and the knife driving pain is still biting to the bone! I still fill grateful for my trial, can I say that! I just did! I AM!!! my pain got my beautiful baby girl to her aunt Hebbie and uncle Trevor, who she loves!!! And that smile on her face as we said our goodbyes is worth all this pain, ten fold!!! I love you toad! Have a super fun week!!! Luv mom

It's monday

2 loads of laundry done
Protein drink consumed...yummy
best blessing ever from my sweet Honey
kids still in bed....it's 7 am
kitchen almost clean
painting getting started
making our "going to Washington chain" today
we leave in 19 days....so excited
taking the kids swimming...trying to wear these sweethearts out!!!!
already takin the painkiller.....geesh....but still smiling
Happy Monday

On the 7th day He rested

Doyle told me today he was sooooo bored! I told him that it was Sunday and it was a day of rest! "no it's not he argued, why can't I do something fun like swim at Mimi and Papa's house! I tried my best to get my six year old to understand why we don't do those activities on Sunday! He wasn't having it! So I finally told him, it took Heavenly Father six days to make the earth and he was so tired that he chose the 7 the 7th day to rest! I half expected him to back at me' with, well I didn't build and earth mom, but he just looked at me' with those big blue eyes and said "I have to sleep all day"

Here I go.....AGAIN

me modeling the bows Amanda and I made 2011


Why is it that just when you feel like life has thrown you that break......Bam!!!!It snaps again!! I had a great run of 4 months with my last set of back injections..Did I mention those hurt soooooo bad! 9months-2yrs is what I was told I should get out them for pain relief, welp 4 months later its valium and Tramadol to help my back not tighten up and go into massive spasm. I'd rather have childbirth,without an epidural, in the back of a cab in New York, whild being dragged down the road and hitting my head on the ground the whole time.....get the picture!
So it's back to Dr.Chase, a most remarkable man who knows just where to put those injections of steroids in my back so that by the next morning i am whistling while I work again. I really dont want to be in pain when we go visit Shawna and Ben and the kids in Washington next month. I want to enjoy myself, I miss them terribly!!!
Did I mention I miss them TERRIBLY!!!!!

Summertime

Wow...
Summertime is full of.....
sleeping in
early morning cartoons
swimming
the smell of sunscreen
and no where we HAVE
to be....I'm beginning to LOVE
SUMMERTIME!!!!

Balance!

I have been on a blogging hiatus cause I have been struggling with some things both as a mother and a wife and needing to find balance and peace in my life.....Can we really have peace in our lives with 4 kids(I love my kids)but come on.....I needed to face the fact that there is a lot to raising these special little spirits who have been blessedly put in my care so I can get them through this life with confidence and the strength they are going to need to be productive, surviving and successful adults!!! BUT.....I was hardly productive, surviving or successful as a parent, I felt, so how was I going to get them to follow this lead!!! WOW....lots and lots of pressure here!!!! AND BOY WAS I FEELING IT!!!!
I do enjoy reading other blogs and seeing how some of these women are feeling it too!!! Either with motherhood, their weight, their sanity and I try really hard to only follow those blogs that I feel show the REAL moments of life and not the "my husband and kids and life are always blissful"blogs, BLAH BLAH BLAH, come on, you can't have the "perfect" life cause that's really why we are here enduring this life is cause we ARE NOT all perfect, but that's not a bad thing!!! Really it's not......But I had a hard time telling myself that because my house was not clean all the time(I'm talking out of a magazine picture, clean) and the laundry was not always done (wash, folded and put away) and that I was not where I really wanted to be weight wise(still holding on to 25 lbs of sweet little Bryn) and not attending to my church duties as I should, that I was this horrible person who had failed somewhere down the line, of who I really thought I should be! I'm telling ya it's been a rough last few months......
Then I started the little things, just really keeping the family room and kitchen spotless, well it still looks lived in, but for the most part the floors stay vacuumed and the dishes I try to keep in the dishwasher, and not worrying that I have to start at the front door and have the entire house including bathrooms, closets, shelves, drawers, vents, celling fans, baseboards, pantry, garage, back porch, front porch, lawn, yards, light fixtures out side on the house, carport, car all spic and span every minute of every day!!!!! I was beating myself up thinking what a failure i was that this stuff was not all organized and put in its place every waking moment!!!! Who really thinks this can even be accomplished when you are dealing with LIFE!!!!!! Geesh!!!!!
I love this article that a very REAL mom put out there!!! She is amazing!!!!
I needed to read this and see that I was not the only one struggling with this type of stuff!!! As i read this it put a lot into perspective for me and I put this in other regards to other areas of my life as well!!!! We need balance and need to take things in moderation, not all or nothing, that's not what we have been taught but should know just from plain ol common sense!!!
It's an ongoing trial, this thing called life, but I know that if we balance out our days and take things in moderation we can get through most of it with a smile on our face, some days are still going to leave me pulling my hair out, or just randomly screaming at the top of my lungs, then smiling really fast, sorry bout that kids, it did feel better though!!!! but hey that's what makes life so enjoyable, the little things, RIGHT!!!!

Happy Happy birthday to my K~Sue

My K`Sue is now 12!!! as I write this I think of how 12 yrs ago tonight I walked the mall all day to try and get stuff started!!! well it worked 2 hrs later I was on my way to the hospital!! and 12 hrs after that had the little peanut!!! We have been through a lot together and I will never forget how much I loved that I had her to get me through all the tough times!!! I owe her a lot!!! I love being her mom!!! Kaely I love you sweetie!!!!