BUT....today went different after my AM IV bag of meds.....................
My Mom (christi)suggested that I not sit in the chair in just my G's and that she should probably brush my hair and fix my pony, which is a reaccuring hair do for me lately.....not 30 minutes later walks in my dear friend Becca Sue with a bag containing Tomatos lettuce and avacados. I was just thinking she brough stuff for dinner tonight but boy was I wrong. I have not been feeling to happy and excited as of yet for this new little life growing in side me and trying just to get through the next few minutes without losing my mind and the feelings of depression and sadness were just looming around and never seemed to let up. Trips to Sonic with mom and out to pima to see Bec and baby Grant helped emensely but still all the while feeling like I wanted my old normal life back. No more gaggy feelings or eating just to have it visit the trash as I wrapped myself around my mom's leg and sqose tight cause the pain in my back and stomach tightened with each heave. Laying in bed day in and day out for 6 weeks as others played mom and caregiver to my kids who would come home or before leaving would tell me that they miss me and I haven't even left the house. They miss "mom" I miss it an d them too. My husband who kisses me every morning before going to work and every night after he takes me off the IV and flushes my line with saline and Heprin cause it's what's we do now before I take my sleeping pill with stool softners and 2 benedryl just to be able to sleep and night and stay asleep. It's been a while since we had just "mommy and daddy" time but does he comeplain, NO. he just keeps right on doing......I love him for that.
I sat in my chair with my shorts on and hair brushed and in walks my dear friend Janelle Hackett with Jack in tow. Doyle was so happy his little friend visited him. As she sat on the couch and visited in walks another dear friend, Kristin Barney with Kendall in tow, As I was being informed by my mom and Janelle that we were having a decorating party and taco salad provided by Becca. Then as I wipe the tears another dear friend Laurie Smith walks in with cantalope.....how did she know./ How did any of them know that I needed friends around to break up my day and to stop the feeling sorry for my self feeling that overwhelms me sometimes. My Mom and Becca planned the whole this yesterday and kept it a secret. I am so blessed. My despair turned to thankfulness and I felt joy in side which is something that hasn't been there in a while.
They put up ALL my fall decorations and took down the stuff that normally adorns my shelves and cabinets like you know, cheese graters (that's another post) I love them all and want to thank them for making my day and bringing in some sunshine!!!!!! I love you all