Friday, October 2, 2009

...........hhhhmmmmm

so this morning started out like any of my other morning these past few days.....I hear Brian's alarm go off and me still in my Ambien like state try's hard to fall back asleep. I feel a tug on my picc line and it's my dear hubby hooking me up to my A.M. IV bag that lasts for 5 hours or so.....First comes the shoot of coldness that runs up my arm as the saline is pushed ever so gently into my picc......2 hours later I hear My Very Very dear to my heart mother in law is getting my little chilans running through their morning routines before we hear the honk that summens them out the door running backpacks and all. My stomach then reminds me that the one in the womb is awake and ready for a rush of either oatmeal or PB&J toast...as I eat and wash down a Benedryl my body try's to make up it's mind if it will keep the nournishment for the baby and deliver it as reguested or if it will remind me of how it tasted a 2nd time. Really!!!!! Then I drag my pole with me IV and all to the bathroom where.....well you know, then I come out to the living room where my dear mother in law is satisfying my ever demanding 5 year old(tomorrow) numberless requests for breakfast that he'll only eat it if he get's a brownie after wards. I sit in the chair and start to suck on one of my 20-30 butterscotch/cinnamon mints that I always have to have in my mouth.
BUT....today went different after my AM IV bag of meds.....................
My Mom (christi)suggested that I not sit in the chair in just my G's and that she should probably brush my hair and fix my pony, which is a reaccuring hair do for me lately.....not 30 minutes later walks in my dear friend Becca Sue with a bag containing Tomatos lettuce and avacados. I was just thinking she brough stuff for dinner tonight but boy was I wrong. I have not been feeling to happy and excited as of yet for this new little life growing in side me and trying just to get through the next few minutes without losing my mind and the feelings of depression and sadness were just looming around and never seemed to let up. Trips to Sonic with mom and out to pima to see Bec and baby Grant helped emensely but still all the while feeling like I wanted my old normal life back. No more gaggy feelings or eating just to have it visit the trash as I wrapped myself around my mom's leg and sqose tight cause the pain in my back and stomach tightened with each heave. Laying in bed day in and day out for 6 weeks as others played mom and caregiver to my kids who would come home or before leaving would tell me that they miss me and I haven't even left the house. They miss "mom" I miss it an d them too. My husband who kisses me every morning before going to work and every night after he takes me off the IV and flushes my line with saline and Heprin cause it's what's we do now before I take my sleeping pill with stool softners and 2 benedryl just to be able to sleep and night and stay asleep. It's been a while since we had just "mommy and daddy" time but does he comeplain, NO. he just keeps right on doing......I love him for that.
I sat in my chair with my shorts on and hair brushed and in walks my dear friend Janelle Hackett with Jack in tow. Doyle was so happy his little friend visited him. As she sat on the couch and visited in walks another dear friend, Kristin Barney with Kendall in tow, As I was being informed by my mom and Janelle that we were having a decorating party and taco salad provided by Becca. Then as I wipe the tears another dear friend Laurie Smith walks in with cantalope.....how did she know./ How did any of them know that I needed friends around to break up my day and to stop the feeling sorry for my self feeling that overwhelms me sometimes. My Mom and Becca planned the whole this yesterday and kept it a secret. I am so blessed. My despair turned to thankfulness and I felt joy in side which is something that hasn't been there in a while.
They put up ALL my fall decorations and took down the stuff that normally adorns my shelves and cabinets like you know, cheese graters (that's another post) I love them all and want to thank them for making my day and bringing in some sunshine!!!!!! I love you all

10 comments:

Raysha said...

I hope everything starts looking up for you soon! Sounds like you have a great support system around you. Hopefully you'll be able to get back to your mommy duties soon.

Cheryl said...

Tiff, I'm so sorry you're miserable right now... I can relate probably pretty well to how you are feeling even though we are/were in different circumstances. I hope things start feeling better for you soon. I'll be thinking of you.

Nicole said...

YAY FOR GREAT FRIENDS!!!!!

Daze of our lives said...

you might be feeling awful, but you are still a great blogger. loved reading your post and am so sorry pregnancy has to be so miserable for you!!! wish i could help you too! there is nothing better in life than great family and friends! and i'm sure brian never thought he would become nurse brian!! tell him i'm impressed!

The Gooding Family said...

I am so glad to hear your heart was lifted by good friends!! I so wish I could come and visit and help you. Hang in there, Tiff!

Steph said...

It is amazing what little acts of service can do for the giver and receiver! We are truly blessed when we have trials!
I am so sorry that you feel so bad. Just remember this too shall pass!
I hope you feel better soon! I am so happy to hear from you.
Hang in there, chicka!

JENN said...

I love you too!!!

Jenny Sue said...

Tif, you made me cry for happy and sad reasons. I'm so grateful for your friends too. I was wondering who it would be to put up your fall decor. You have a great family and great friends. Thank you for sharing this. And we are praying for you!

Shawna said...

I'm so glad that Becca and Christie planned that for you. I feel like it's my job to do things like that but I haven't able to do anything for you. I'm glad you're feeling better.
It's so great to hear your happy, feeling good voice on the phone...not your sick voice. Yay for feeling better!

Oh, and since you've had it so rough, I'll let you be Cindy Mancini next time we play house. I know...I'm nice like that!

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I've been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

Thumbs up, and keep it going!

Cheers
Christian, iwspo.net