This has got to be.......

The most inspiring week EVER!!! It's one of those weeks where the house stays a little bit more cluttered, laundry a little more piled up and dinner a little more on the " take out" side of things! AND It's ok! I've really been focusing on making my children feel more loved and far more appreciated! It's been my goal for this month, to step back and see the major potential my kids really have!! WOW IT'S BEEN AMAZING!! I have had to slow down a bit and not take soooo much for granted!!! I'm trying this in the husband category also!! This has been eye opening for me'!!! I have a new motto for motherhood and it's "example" and I'm trying really hard to stick by this! Treat my family how I'd like to b treated! Do unto them as i would want done unto me!!! My girls have been absolute rock stars since this last bout with my knee! And also my back!!! Yep 34 and already needing to be traded in for a newer model!! Haha
I don't think I was giving them enough credit where credit was due!! I feel like I'm kinda taking motherhood in strides, it's a wonderful feeling, but I also wish I had taken this on when I was a first time mom!!!
I'm now more grateful, sensitive, quiet, reassured, hopeful, thoughtful, and thankful! Even though there ate still days I'd like to scream into a pillow or run out my front door screaming for some help ( that's a funny mental picture right there) I for sure have my days, I'm seeing motherhood in a whole new light! And the future seem to be pretty bright!!!!

Can you wrap yourself around pain...Cambry did

Tonight is grateful sorrow in so many ways! Is there such a thing! I just dropped my 2nd oldest sweet girl off to my older sister in Globe!!! She is spending 4-5 days there! She loves it, the company, the chores, having Hebbie, Trevor, Cody and Wyatt all to herself! No sharing! I will miss her terribly! She asked right before we went our separate ways if she could call me' even at 1 am if she was scared! You bet I told her! She smiled, gave me' a hug and jumped happily in the truck!! Made my heart happy that she was so happy!!!

The pain in my back is excruciating! It's beyond one Valium, I'm one to one and a half and the knife driving pain is still biting to the bone! I still fill grateful for my trial, can I say that! I just did! I AM!!! my pain got my beautiful baby girl to her aunt Hebbie and uncle Trevor, who she loves!!! And that smile on her face as we said our goodbyes is worth all this pain, ten fold!!! I love you toad! Have a super fun week!!! Luv mom

It's monday

2 loads of laundry done
Protein drink consumed...yummy
best blessing ever from my sweet Honey
kids still in bed....it's 7 am
kitchen almost clean
painting getting started
making our "going to Washington chain" today
we leave in 19 days....so excited
taking the kids swimming...trying to wear these sweethearts out!!!!
already takin the painkiller.....geesh....but still smiling
Happy Monday

On the 7th day He rested

Doyle told me today he was sooooo bored! I told him that it was Sunday and it was a day of rest! "no it's not he argued, why can't I do something fun like swim at Mimi and Papa's house! I tried my best to get my six year old to understand why we don't do those activities on Sunday! He wasn't having it! So I finally told him, it took Heavenly Father six days to make the earth and he was so tired that he chose the 7 the 7th day to rest! I half expected him to back at me' with, well I didn't build and earth mom, but he just looked at me' with those big blue eyes and said "I have to sleep all day"

Here I go.....AGAIN

me modeling the bows Amanda and I made 2011


Why is it that just when you feel like life has thrown you that break......Bam!!!!It snaps again!! I had a great run of 4 months with my last set of back injections..Did I mention those hurt soooooo bad! 9months-2yrs is what I was told I should get out them for pain relief, welp 4 months later its valium and Tramadol to help my back not tighten up and go into massive spasm. I'd rather have childbirth,without an epidural, in the back of a cab in New York, whild being dragged down the road and hitting my head on the ground the whole time.....get the picture!
So it's back to Dr.Chase, a most remarkable man who knows just where to put those injections of steroids in my back so that by the next morning i am whistling while I work again. I really dont want to be in pain when we go visit Shawna and Ben and the kids in Washington next month. I want to enjoy myself, I miss them terribly!!!
Did I mention I miss them TERRIBLY!!!!!

Summertime

Wow...
Summertime is full of.....
sleeping in
early morning cartoons
swimming
the smell of sunscreen
and no where we HAVE
to be....I'm beginning to LOVE
SUMMERTIME!!!!

Balance!

I have been on a blogging hiatus cause I have been struggling with some things both as a mother and a wife and needing to find balance and peace in my life.....Can we really have peace in our lives with 4 kids(I love my kids)but come on.....I needed to face the fact that there is a lot to raising these special little spirits who have been blessedly put in my care so I can get them through this life with confidence and the strength they are going to need to be productive, surviving and successful adults!!! BUT.....I was hardly productive, surviving or successful as a parent, I felt, so how was I going to get them to follow this lead!!! WOW....lots and lots of pressure here!!!! AND BOY WAS I FEELING IT!!!!
I do enjoy reading other blogs and seeing how some of these women are feeling it too!!! Either with motherhood, their weight, their sanity and I try really hard to only follow those blogs that I feel show the REAL moments of life and not the "my husband and kids and life are always blissful"blogs, BLAH BLAH BLAH, come on, you can't have the "perfect" life cause that's really why we are here enduring this life is cause we ARE NOT all perfect, but that's not a bad thing!!! Really it's not......But I had a hard time telling myself that because my house was not clean all the time(I'm talking out of a magazine picture, clean) and the laundry was not always done (wash, folded and put away) and that I was not where I really wanted to be weight wise(still holding on to 25 lbs of sweet little Bryn) and not attending to my church duties as I should, that I was this horrible person who had failed somewhere down the line, of who I really thought I should be! I'm telling ya it's been a rough last few months......
Then I started the little things, just really keeping the family room and kitchen spotless, well it still looks lived in, but for the most part the floors stay vacuumed and the dishes I try to keep in the dishwasher, and not worrying that I have to start at the front door and have the entire house including bathrooms, closets, shelves, drawers, vents, celling fans, baseboards, pantry, garage, back porch, front porch, lawn, yards, light fixtures out side on the house, carport, car all spic and span every minute of every day!!!!! I was beating myself up thinking what a failure i was that this stuff was not all organized and put in its place every waking moment!!!! Who really thinks this can even be accomplished when you are dealing with LIFE!!!!!! Geesh!!!!!
I love this article that a very REAL mom put out there!!! She is amazing!!!!
I needed to read this and see that I was not the only one struggling with this type of stuff!!! As i read this it put a lot into perspective for me and I put this in other regards to other areas of my life as well!!!! We need balance and need to take things in moderation, not all or nothing, that's not what we have been taught but should know just from plain ol common sense!!!
It's an ongoing trial, this thing called life, but I know that if we balance out our days and take things in moderation we can get through most of it with a smile on our face, some days are still going to leave me pulling my hair out, or just randomly screaming at the top of my lungs, then smiling really fast, sorry bout that kids, it did feel better though!!!! but hey that's what makes life so enjoyable, the little things, RIGHT!!!!