Messin around

Brynlee and I are loving these last days of school with Doyle!!

we get to spend days filled with

Ice Cream cones

snow cones

Mcdonalds

playing at the park

I Love these days

Happy Birthday Kaely.......13

So the last 13 years sure have been full of events.......

You were our first born, first blessed, first crawler

first walker, first talker, first to be potty trained, first daughter,first grand baby on both sides, first 25Th anniversary grand baby for Grammie

and Grandpa,

first to make my sister aunts, and my brothers Uncles

and my mom and Dad a Mimi and a Papa,

Flo a great aunt!

Me a mom

Daddy a Dad

I love everything you have taught me in these first 13 years of your life

You have taught me what it means to be a mom

To be a friend

To be the enemy

to be the rescuer

the discipliner

the most important

the most loved

the not so coolest

the coolest

the most confused

the most scared

the happiest

I love you Kaely!!

My days are filled.....

Spinning 16~18 miles 5 days a week sometimes 6 days a week on one of these bad boys...AWEsoME

With sweet conversations about SomEtHiNG important in the eyes

of my 2 year old..

laundry

vacuuming

filling bottles

watching HOP

naptimes

Watching Hop

filling bottles

changing Diapers

making sure I eat every 2~3 hours

fixing dinners

and loving on my kiddos

Pain free

It's amazing how this stuff isn't so bad when you feel pretty good!!!

Good Luck to my sweet friend Stephanie Nielson...Here is to a speedy recovery!!! Luv u

Go Here for her amazing New Book....Heaven is Here

Late night Sunday post!!!

safford circus April 2011

Bryn Mary Hilda June 2011

Kaely Primary activity day June 2011

Me and Tyler June 2011

Mary hilda mt graham June 2011 love this guy!!!

its crazy when midnight comes around and im still a kickin!!! Cause by 3pm I wondering how in the heck I am going to make it through dinner time ( which lately is around 7) and bath and bed times which are done all by myself cause my husband works like it's going out style!!! What, I'm not complaining, okay a little but I'm done now, except, did I mention I feel like a single mom with 4 kids and a guy that comes home and eats my dinners and watches me and my kids sometimes and laughs at some of the things they do but mostly reads his dog forum, OKAY now I'm done!!! If he's reading this, You are the best dadgum hardest worker I know, and I think you're pretty hot too :)
I was thinking today as Kaely and I were sitting on my bed eating Ice cream, Yeah I know its not on the Paleo thing, but man was it good! But i love my girls, they are my best friends, sure they can make me want to stick my tongue out at them sometimes, but mostly I love their company!!! I missed Cam while she was in Taylor with my sister Heather and their family, they kept her sooo friggin busy that now she is bored out of her mind and wants a pig, chickens, and a meat packing plant so she has something to do during the day.
We drove to Benson today and blessed my new nephew Tyler, what a little (big) cutie he is, he's delish!!!! It was fun hanging with fam!!!!
I can't wait for our trip this Friday, I am so excited that I want to just pack tomorrow and leave and wait at the airport till Friday at 6:45am when our flight leaves!!! What....
Tomorrow is going to be busy, busy, busy!!! Lots of laundry and packing!!! anyone want to come help......what

A locket in his pocket....

Tonight as I was doing a load of towels I got to a pair of pants of Doyles! Being six I NEVER know what I'm going to find!!! Kinda scary sometimes! Well this time his pants pocket was heavy and it had me giggling!! I think my husband thought I was enjoying doing the laundry a little too much ( wrongo). It got me thinking ( deep thinking) I just got after this sweet boy of mine for getting out of his bed for the onemillionth time! How many more times am I going to have to kiss his cute little lips everytime I put him back in bed( I get onemillion) kissed a night! And how many times am I going to find a " locket in his pocket".
I love finding little boy treasures! So I guess doing laundry EVERYSINGLE day isn't sooo bad!!!
Who am I kidding, but it really will b a sad day when their hampers r empty, cause that means so will their rooms and that means life has taken on a different route for me!
There will b a day I miss the fingerprints on the newly washed window, the mounds of laundry, the full sink of sippy cups and half eaten PB&J's, the kisses at night b 4 bed! The smell of newly bathed babies with that sweet sweet lotion on and yes even more



....the lockets in his pockets!!!

This has got to be.......

The most inspiring week EVER!!! It's one of those weeks where the house stays a little bit more cluttered, laundry a little more piled up and dinner a little more on the " take out" side of things! AND It's ok! I've really been focusing on making my children feel more loved and far more appreciated! It's been my goal for this month, to step back and see the major potential my kids really have!! WOW IT'S BEEN AMAZING!! I have had to slow down a bit and not take soooo much for granted!!! I'm trying this in the husband category also!! This has been eye opening for me'!!! I have a new motto for motherhood and it's "example" and I'm trying really hard to stick by this! Treat my family how I'd like to b treated! Do unto them as i would want done unto me!!! My girls have been absolute rock stars since this last bout with my knee! And also my back!!! Yep 34 and already needing to be traded in for a newer model!! Haha
I don't think I was giving them enough credit where credit was due!! I feel like I'm kinda taking motherhood in strides, it's a wonderful feeling, but I also wish I had taken this on when I was a first time mom!!!
I'm now more grateful, sensitive, quiet, reassured, hopeful, thoughtful, and thankful! Even though there ate still days I'd like to scream into a pillow or run out my front door screaming for some help ( that's a funny mental picture right there) I for sure have my days, I'm seeing motherhood in a whole new light! And the future seem to be pretty bright!!!!

Balance!

I have been on a blogging hiatus cause I have been struggling with some things both as a mother and a wife and needing to find balance and peace in my life.....Can we really have peace in our lives with 4 kids(I love my kids)but come on.....I needed to face the fact that there is a lot to raising these special little spirits who have been blessedly put in my care so I can get them through this life with confidence and the strength they are going to need to be productive, surviving and successful adults!!! BUT.....I was hardly productive, surviving or successful as a parent, I felt, so how was I going to get them to follow this lead!!! WOW....lots and lots of pressure here!!!! AND BOY WAS I FEELING IT!!!!
I do enjoy reading other blogs and seeing how some of these women are feeling it too!!! Either with motherhood, their weight, their sanity and I try really hard to only follow those blogs that I feel show the REAL moments of life and not the "my husband and kids and life are always blissful"blogs, BLAH BLAH BLAH, come on, you can't have the "perfect" life cause that's really why we are here enduring this life is cause we ARE NOT all perfect, but that's not a bad thing!!! Really it's not......But I had a hard time telling myself that because my house was not clean all the time(I'm talking out of a magazine picture, clean) and the laundry was not always done (wash, folded and put away) and that I was not where I really wanted to be weight wise(still holding on to 25 lbs of sweet little Bryn) and not attending to my church duties as I should, that I was this horrible person who had failed somewhere down the line, of who I really thought I should be! I'm telling ya it's been a rough last few months......
Then I started the little things, just really keeping the family room and kitchen spotless, well it still looks lived in, but for the most part the floors stay vacuumed and the dishes I try to keep in the dishwasher, and not worrying that I have to start at the front door and have the entire house including bathrooms, closets, shelves, drawers, vents, celling fans, baseboards, pantry, garage, back porch, front porch, lawn, yards, light fixtures out side on the house, carport, car all spic and span every minute of every day!!!!! I was beating myself up thinking what a failure i was that this stuff was not all organized and put in its place every waking moment!!!! Who really thinks this can even be accomplished when you are dealing with LIFE!!!!!! Geesh!!!!!
I love this article that a very REAL mom put out there!!! She is amazing!!!!
I needed to read this and see that I was not the only one struggling with this type of stuff!!! As i read this it put a lot into perspective for me and I put this in other regards to other areas of my life as well!!!! We need balance and need to take things in moderation, not all or nothing, that's not what we have been taught but should know just from plain ol common sense!!!
It's an ongoing trial, this thing called life, but I know that if we balance out our days and take things in moderation we can get through most of it with a smile on our face, some days are still going to leave me pulling my hair out, or just randomly screaming at the top of my lungs, then smiling really fast, sorry bout that kids, it did feel better though!!!! but hey that's what makes life so enjoyable, the little things, RIGHT!!!!

The sweetness of doing nothing!!

I love Italy! I have a weekness for tuscan themes but dont know where to start in adapting this to my house of chaos!! I want to start adapting!! slowly but surely I will have a tuscan tidy house, complete with the music, colors, love, and there famous saying " The sweetness of doing nothing" I could really take this literally!!! and then I awoke from my daydreaming!!!

I feel a little lost in my house!!! In myself!!! Who do I want to become!!! When I was little my answer was a mom, it consumed my every thought, Who would I marry, what would my sweet kids look like, where would I live! Now I am living in my daydream of 20 years ago! I love my life, I love my husband, I love my kids, I love my home!!! I feel like the chaos that we live in and the fast pace of the world we live in has me spinning out of control and Im dizzy!!! I want things to slow down! I want to think daily of what I am grateful and thankful for! Do more things for me and try to be the best mom and wife I can be. this may take some time cause all I know right now is how to be mom to 4 and wife to 1! I know with each day comes the chaos of life but I want to look at it differently!!! I guess look at it with open eyes!!! take it one day at a time in stead of thinking about 3 or 4 days at a time!!!! I think I want a meditation room!!! hhhmmm sounds amazing! I think now I need to wake up and go switch the laundry!!!!

Fasting......The right way

This morning when I awoke I Knew that this was the first Sunday of the month, for us LDS members that means that we fast for 2 meals, and start and end with a prayer of gratitude for what we are fast for or about!
Today as I knelt to open my fast my body was heavy with and overwhelming sense of Motherhood stresses! Why does this happen when you are trying to feel the spirit and keep it with you on the Sabbath Day, I try every day but mostly on Sundays! I had the kids fighting this morning about who got to be on the laptop the longest or who ate what cereal first and used it all, or the fact that the skirt they picked out (not me) was too itchy and they didn't want to wear it, when it wasn't even my idea in the first place but I'm the one getting yelled at for it! Really!! Then you get to church with a smile on your face and thinking the whole time, if these people really knew that I just threatened my children with a huge time out and early bed time if they misbehaved in church they'd be appalled but I think we are fooling everyone with our (my) happy smiling face as we walk into sacrament!!!
I can't tell you the flow of emotions that came pouring over me as I opened my fast today and just sat there for the longest time in silence, wondering how to fast for what I wanted so badly in my life at this time, Peace, calmness, happiness, endurance, calmness, to be more understanding as a mother and wife, calmness, the cloudiness to leave my head, the overwhelming feeling of defeat to disappear, calmness calmness calmness!!! As I asked for each of these I felt a rush of warmth come over me and the word calmness stayed with me, literally, I think I could have fallen asleep, I was so calm! Even though I could still hear the "murmuring" going on between "Lamen, Lemual " It didn't seem so big and defeating at that time, so it accrued to me that what I am going to have to do on a daily basis is go in my room, kneel on my knees and ask for that feeling of calmness to be with me, then sit there and just listen! It's the listening that makes all the difference in the world! It was amazing to me! I tell my kids everyday "your not listening to me" I think Heavenly Father is tapping at my soul and saying "Tifani, you are not listening to me" He's right! Turn off the T.V. and the music that is helping you clean the house to a steady beat and turn on a talk from a General authority or Sheri Dew or just inspirational music!!! or just sit in silence as you fold the clothes if the kids are asleep! Life is so fast paced and we need to have more "listening moments" Its amazing how I look at what I say to my kids and turn it around at myself, as if Heavenly Father were saying it to me!!!! Try it, sometimes it makes me laugh and other I cry and that feels good sometimes too!

Put the kids down and kick your feet up....

I have been listening A LOT to inspirational messages from Prophets and apostles and motivational speakers, so that I might keep the spirit ever present in my "mothering" day!!! I love this talk by Sheri Dew and If you don't want to read it all I think you might be able to get it on You Tube as well!!! I have this CD in my car and while I am going to and fro I love to hear the messages from this most inspiring women! EVERY TIME I get something new out it!!! I"ve heard it a thousand times and it never fails!!!! I hope you all feel the comfort and peace that I feel as I listen to these words and contemplate what is in it for me!!!! Listen with an open mind and peaceful heart!!!! But what ever you do.....grab some bon bon's and kick your feet up and enjoy this little message!!!
Hugs and Kisses
Tif

How this special type of Mother is chosen......

Brynlee 2 hrs after birth NICU Banner Gateway
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?

God is hovering over Earth, selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Peter.

Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a preemie “

The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

”Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

”But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.

”I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”

”But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”

God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness. “

The angel gasps, “Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says ‘mama’ for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see as ignorance, cruelty and prejudice and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by My side.”

”And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
My dear Friend Wendy has been documenting the life with her Little Timmy from the NICU and doing and amazing job at it!!! Though we wish for no one to ever have to experience this type of trial those of us who have have a bond that could never be broken!! We feel their pain and anguish and tears and happiness and triumps and setbacks like no other human being could feel them!! We are eachother's cheerleaders!!! Wendy and little Timmy I love you and keep you in our prayers daily!!!! Thank you for sharing this Wendy!!! You're strength amazes me!!!! It is a tough road ahead but know all the little moments you share with that precious baby one on one are making him stronger and stronger! When Brynlee was in the NICU they told me that the Kangaroo Kare was of the upmost importance for the strength of that little baby and they were right!! They know our smells and our sounds and that helps them to want to be stronger!!! I loved those tender moments!! I pray you get to take little Timmy home soon but know that his time in the NICU is preparing him!!! It's seems so far but really it will happen soon!!! Love you

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

My mothers Day was good!!! I wish that Brynlee would have given me a Mother's Day and slept all night but such was not the case!!! She thinks she has to be held 24/7 so needless to say we are working on the putting her down as soon as she falls asleep today!!! So far no luck!!! ;(

Brian got me a Cricut Expression and I love it! Only bad thing is that I have a baby that won't let me put her down long enough to start a project so I guess I'll have to do projects while Brian is home so he can watch her!!!! I love my Hubby!!!!

The kids all wrote me little notes while at church and they made me laugh, they were so stinkin cute!!!
Kaely~ I lOVE YOU MOM
You are like shining in the Darkest night! I love you so much. Thank for all you do!
Cambry~Dear Mom,
I love the way your eyes sprakl
I wood not take a sekent (second) to not look at you! Love cambry Cluff
Doyle~I love you Mom

I love being a mom, it takes a lot out of you but like my mother in law always says, Motherhood is not for wimps!!!
I am so thankful for my family and all the happiness that they bring to me!!!

This is so ...... well, how I roll!!!! We've all been there!

I saw this on here

Tis another day...........yippppppyyyy

Cam and mom 2008

I feel like taking on the world in the mornings (after I've had my bowl of mini shredded wheat of course) I am excited to see what I can accomplish on this crisp morning in Jan. what will it be today.............

Brynlee's room needs quite a bit of attention!

I have laundry screaming at me everytime I round the corner to my laundry room!

The office needs organizing!.......papers, papers, paper oh and did I mention PAPERS!

More Christmas stuff I still need to part with!

Closets need to be organized!

Bathrooms need to be straighened

Where oh where to begin............this is only the start of all this chaos going on in my house right now!!! One day at a time, right?

One down.......

Cluff and Bryan Kids 2007

Well the tree came down today (thanks to my good friend Becca) NOW for the rest of the stuff! My morning started out CRAZY and finally died down about 1. Between Piano at 7:30am and Cambry having to be to the dentist at 8:15 am with Doyle's school starting at 9:15 I was running like mad, thanks Flo for helping out with Doyle!!!! It's barely 3:08pm and I am wishing I was taking a warm bath in 15 min and going to sleep with the help of my Tylenol PM!!! Oh well, such is the joy of being a mom! The kids are awaiting the arrival of "Harley", mom and dad's new yellow lab puppy!! Pics to come, and let me tell you, you will F

A

L

L head over heals for this baby!!!

Kaely is "going out"

Kaely and mom 2008

So tonight I dropped Kaely and her friend Erin Hackett off at the movies to watch the new chipmunk movie!!! That was so weird and hard for me. I can't believe that she is old enough to be "going out" with friends. she was so funny as I handed her my phone and $20 bucks. You would have thought she was going to the mall with all the girlies and 500.00bukaroos. This is going to take some getting used to!!! When did they grow up so fast GGGGEEEESSSSHHHH