Milestones.........yeah!!!

well today was a good day!!! I was sitting in my chair out in the living room and trying to help Bubba D hurry along with his morning duties. This is kinda trying since I get winded just walking a few steps but he did his best. Flo was here helping with the situation that was at hand. He didn't want to leave for preschool and I said "but mom is going to take you," I really felt like I needed to this for him!! It's been way to long. so with flo in the passenger seat and Doyle in the back we headed to Preschool. It felt weird but REALLY good at the same time!!! I am starting to take things one day at a time. I have a dr. appt tomorrow and hope that he pulls my picc line so I can get used to using that arm more.
I felt the baby move a few days ago and that sparked some deep down excitement and let me know that this little one is growing despite MY struggles. I hope to find out tomorrow what I am having but if now it will happen next month I am sure. I feel so blessed by My Heavenly Father to be able to start taking care of my kids and Hubby more and more. I know that he is with me day in and day out and is probably just as excited as I am that I am able to start taking on these tasks.

...........hhhhmmmmm

so this morning started out like any of my other morning these past few days.....I hear Brian's alarm go off and me still in my Ambien like state try's hard to fall back asleep. I feel a tug on my picc line and it's my dear hubby hooking me up to my A.M. IV bag that lasts for 5 hours or so.....First comes the shoot of coldness that runs up my arm as the saline is pushed ever so gently into my picc......2 hours later I hear My Very Very dear to my heart mother in law is getting my little chilans running through their morning routines before we hear the honk that summens them out the door running backpacks and all. My stomach then reminds me that the one in the womb is awake and ready for a rush of either oatmeal or PB&J toast...as I eat and wash down a Benedryl my body try's to make up it's mind if it will keep the nournishment for the baby and deliver it as reguested or if it will remind me of how it tasted a 2nd time. Really!!!!! Then I drag my pole with me IV and all to the bathroom where.....well you know, then I come out to the living room where my dear mother in law is satisfying my ever demanding 5 year old(tomorrow) numberless requests for breakfast that he'll only eat it if he get's a brownie after wards. I sit in the chair and start to suck on one of my 20-30 butterscotch/cinnamon mints that I always have to have in my mouth.

BUT....today went different after my AM IV bag of meds.....................

My Mom (christi)suggested that I not sit in the chair in just my G's and that she should probably brush my hair and fix my pony, which is a reaccuring hair do for me lately.....not 30 minutes later walks in my dear friend Becca Sue with a bag containing Tomatos lettuce and avacados. I was just thinking she brough stuff for dinner tonight but boy was I wrong. I have not been feeling to happy and excited as of yet for this new little life growing in side me and trying just to get through the next few minutes without losing my mind and the feelings of depression and sadness were just looming around and never seemed to let up. Trips to Sonic with mom and out to pima to see Bec and baby Grant helped emensely but still all the while feeling like I wanted my old normal life back. No more gaggy feelings or eating just to have it visit the trash as I wrapped myself around my mom's leg and sqose tight cause the pain in my back and stomach tightened with each heave. Laying in bed day in and day out for 6 weeks as others played mom and caregiver to my kids who would come home or before leaving would tell me that they miss me and I haven't even left the house. They miss "mom" I miss it an d them too. My husband who kisses me every morning before going to work and every night after he takes me off the IV and flushes my line with saline and Heprin cause it's what's we do now before I take my sleeping pill with stool softners and 2 benedryl just to be able to sleep and night and stay asleep. It's been a while since we had just "mommy and daddy" time but does he comeplain, NO. he just keeps right on doing......I love him for that.

I sat in my chair with my shorts on and hair brushed and in walks my dear friend Janelle Hackett with Jack in tow. Doyle was so happy his little friend visited him. As she sat on the couch and visited in walks another dear friend, Kristin Barney with Kendall in tow, As I was being informed by my mom and Janelle that we were having a decorating party and taco salad provided by Becca. Then as I wipe the tears another dear friend Laurie Smith walks in with cantalope.....how did she know./ How did any of them know that I needed friends around to break up my day and to stop the feeling sorry for my self feeling that overwhelms me sometimes. My Mom and Becca planned the whole this yesterday and kept it a secret. I am so blessed. My despair turned to thankfulness and I felt joy in side which is something that hasn't been there in a while.

They put up ALL my fall decorations and took down the stuff that normally adorns my shelves and cabinets like you know, cheese graters (that's another post) I love them all and want to thank them for making my day and bringing in some sunshine!!!!!! I love you all

Such a BLAH day......

today isn't as bad as yesterday but could be better just isn't, is that complaining well if it is it feels better than going in to the porcelain god and sharing my breakfast, why isn't she sugar coating this you ask cause there is nothing sweet about losing your breakfast lunch dinner and every swallow in between, when things come up cold you know it didn't stay long enough! Which is why the ever-needed Zofran pump is on it's way to be a constant companion to my inner thigh! Will i like it probably not, do I wish I was at the gym right now with my good friend Becca who stayed at my house all day yesterday and did my laundry till her baby cried for some mommy time!Yep she's workin out and well I guess so am I! Trying to keep from spewin has to burn some calories right, right!!! I want to remember this day for as long as I can so when I am having a bad day later on I can look back at today and say.....wow, could be worse Tif, buck and and smile. I have a lot to be thankful for................I get to be a mom of four ;)

"Mom, my tummy hurts"...........

I hear this alot at my house!! Their tummies hurt when they have to go to bed, if I tell them to do the dishes or clean their room, what ever the task is that needs to be done we have "tummy aches" so when doyle told me that his tummy was hurting I asked him if he thought he needed to poop or throwup and he opened his mouth and said no not in their mom on the outside!!! Well this is what I saw when I pulled up his shirt. I said "Doyle, what the heck happened, he said that Cambry was airing up our air mattress with my blow dryer for a while then turned it on him! Well when it touched his tummy it burned him good!!! Poor guy!!! But he never cried right when it happened. It was a few hours before he started complaining that his stomach was hurting!!!

Craft's and more craft's

Some crafts I've been working on!!! Very cute! Fun Fun!!! This is our new crayon bucket that I used starburst wrappers on and mod podge them on there then tied matching ribbon, shawna did a tootsie roll and york mint patties that were also cute as could be!! Thanks for the idea shamoms your the greatest!!! check out her blog for some cute cute ideas she's awesome!! [RE]Beautify on my side bar!!!

Bow Holder that's not quite finished! I still have to put the fabric on the back of it but don't know what fabric yet!! But i think it's still so dang cute!! can you believe chicken wire and a frame from Hobby Lobby and voila you have a bow holder! Saw this idea on I think it was UCREATE. Kari has found some amazing sites!!!

Our 24th 2009

It was so fun to have Cody with us for a week! We've done cousin swapping all month and this month it was Cody's turn! I hope he had fun too!
Me on a very important call.............

The kids were on a float with Uncle Justin and looked so stinkin cute!

Doyle rode in the 4th ward Primary float with his dad. They even won a award for their float!!!

If you click on this picture you can see that Sid~diddy is asleep!!!! Just was so good to hold her for the ride and she must have thought the ride was pretty relaxing even though there was Fire trucks right behind them blarring their horns!!!! Gotta love kids

Here she is right before I took her off of the ride and over to Shawna!! She was so so tired

Havin fun with Uncle Rex!!!

Uncle Rex was here for Amber and Cheej's wedding and I captured some one on one time with him and Bubba D......We love you Rexy

They were laughing so stinkin hard....look and the veins in Doyle's Neck! I wish You could hear them laughing, it was so stinkin funny!!! I love the look on K-sue's face too!!!

I love this kid

They did this for about 10 min!!! We can't wait to see you again Rex!!! Hopefully soon!!!